HANABI
by CartRAT
Summary: One-shot: Seiya returns to Earth after six years to finally tell Usagi how he really feels... and put his aching heart to rest -COMPLETE-


**Hey, hey, hey! So here's another one-shot song fic that I just had to get out of my mind. Mid-terms have been such a drag and has brought the angst out in me XD thank you Seiya and Usagi for giving me an outlet. The title, **_HANABI_**, is translated as, "fireworks."**

**Rated M for adult situations and language—ooh la la! XD**

**Many thanks to Odango (a.k.a. Ms. Monypeny) for letting me borrow her genius imagination as the concept of this story. You're wonderful!**

**I don't own Sailor Moon or anything else affiliated with it. Same goes with the lyrics of the song.**

**Enjoy! I love you all!**

_HANABI_

_**The summer has come again and again since then  
But why am I looking back upon the past again  
Tracing the footprints?**_

It was hot… really hot. I couldn't remember it being so toasty six years ago, but then again, it has been six years. Things have been forgotten, pushed to the back of my mind, or remembered wrong. Although smelling the sweet scent of summer in Tokyo definitely gave me nostalgia and every memory of this place came flooding back. It was the late evening and busy as usual. That was what I loved about this city: the hustle and bustle of life; everyone had a place to go and person to see. And it was for those reasons why I had returned.

For the first four years after leaving this place, I had been on edge, fidgety, and a pain to live with. And for the last two years I had been especially restless. I had left my princess and planet to wander about the universe until I finally ended up back here—where I had some unfinished business to take care of.

You see, I had met this girl the last time I was on this planet. Her name was Usagi Tsukino. She was clumsy, loud, and opinionated… she was also beautiful, generous, and the most caring person I had ever encountered. She had a power to her… a sort of light that you didn't want to be away from. I was on this earth looking for my lost princess when I came upon this precious person. We went to school together and I had the pleasure of being able to see and be with her for at least five days a week. We did a lot together: spent the day at a park, teach her how to play softball, and I even put my own life in danger for her. But even worse than that, I did the unthinkable of falling in love with her.

Yeah that's right… love. I fell for her and a fell hard. And of course I didn't plan on it, but then again who really plans on falling in love? I had a duty to find my princess; that was my one and only reason for being here. Before her, I had a completely different life to live, different priorities, and different perspective. And then this golden-haired angel waltzes into my life and it was no use. There was no turning back.

You're probably wondering why I'm here—six years later—and I'm telling you about my sad love life instead of living out a happy existence with this woman. Well as luck would have it, she was completely in love with someone else. Wait, no, she was DESTINED to be with someone else. I didn't necessarily receive this news from her, but from her close circle of friends whom were aware of my feelings and wanted me to keep my distance. They told me to stay back, to not try anything… that the fate of their lives and the whole universe rested on her relationship with this other man (a man who was presently absent from her life as he was studying abroad in America). And if I fucked things up, there would be a sore price to pay.

Apparently, Odango (that's the nickname I bestowed upon Usagi) received that lecture too. But she played ignorant and kept reminding me that I was a friend. I understood. She had lived this way long before I came into the picture. Why would I expect myself to change her mind?

But I did… I did change her mind… for a night.

_**I remember everything even now  
Your voice calling my name, your casual habits  
I want to forget, and I don't want to forget**_

_It was dark and had suddenly become cold. A heavy rain fell around us in which was convenient enough to hide my tears that threatened to spill from my eyes and mirrored the turmoil that stirred inside me. Odango and I were on the rooftop of our high school and had just finished fighting off one of Galaxia's minions… I can't remember her name. But apparently, something was bothering my angel before I had joined her in battle because she was literally breaking down right in front of me. Her little shoulders were shaking uncontrollably as she bawled in pure agony and cried an endless stream of tears. I felt truly sorry for her._

"_I've never been good at trying hard," she sobbed, "I've tried to try hard at studying, but I always end up eating and sleeping."_

_I stared at her motionless and speechless. I somehow knew where this was going and I was begging her in my head to stop. I already knew we couldn't be together, that I wasn't the one for her… why does she need to keep reminding me? Please Odango, let me pretend. Please let me love you in my ignorance._

_But my silent prayers weren't answered._

"_I thought that I can be all right by myself. But I can't. I can't stand it anymore. I want to see Mamo-Chan."_

_Her beloved Mamo-Chan; I cursed that name. Damn that man; there he was studying in some other country and he didn't even send one letter back after she had sent dozens to him. And Odango still held out for him after months of silence from him. I didn't understand… She lost the power to stand and dropped to her knees and I just kept watching. I selfishly wished that it was me that she was crying out for; that I was the one that held her heart. I had never seen her break down like this before and I felt like I ultimately failed as a distraction. We had laughed and now cried together… What else could I do for her? What could I give her to soothe her tortured soul? Why didn't she want anything from me?_

_But not matter what I did, it now wasn't enough… it just wasn't good enough._

_I pursed my lips to keep from crying out as I knelt down to meet her face-to-face. It was bad enough for my unrequited love for this girl to haunt my dreams, but I had to hear it. I had to ask. I placed my hands on both of her shoulders and kindly shook her from her crying. With a look of confusion, she stared into my eyes as I did hers._

"_Am I not good enough?"_

_Nothing… she said nothing. She just kept staring at me with those eyes of confusion, loneliness and desperation because of her estrangement from her Mamo-Chan. But I sighed heavily and repeated myself as I softened my face._

"_Am I not good enough?"_

_She barely moved her mouth but still not a word emitted from it. I knelt there waiting for something—ANYTHING—to happen. But we sat there in the rain just staring at each other in solemn silence for what seemed like forever. _

"_Usagi…?" _

_Her friends had made it to the roof and found us. And I knew at this point that I wouldn't get any answer from my beautiful Odango. I had gotten nowhere with my question and was still at the point of only dreaming about a life with her. I was half thankful and half irritated that her friends were here._

_So I left. I ran into the building and down the stairs like a bat out of hell. I didn't feel like taking a cab home; the rain felt good for some reason. It hid my pitiful tears well. I didn't bother with sunglasses or trying to hide my identity from anyone. I was walking too fast for anyone to spot me out anyway. At this point, I didn't care. I wanted to die, I wanted to go back in time and sweep Odango off her feet before anyone else could…_

…_If only… if only we had met sooner…_

_I made it to my apartment and slammed the door shut. And then did nothing… I just stood there. I thought of all the events that had led up to what happened only minutes ago. Maybe I should have done this or that differently and none of this would have happened. But it did and there was nothing I could do at this point. Why did this have to happen? Why did I let myself do this? Why did it have to be this way?_

_I lost the will to stand and sunk to the floor as I started bawling. But, I never cry. Even in the face of the genocide and destruction of my home planet, I held back my emotions and carried on with my mission. For the first time in my life I willingly cared for someone else other than my princess, only to get hurt in the end. How stupid of me. And now I'm crying about it! I was such a schmuck. _

_It wasn't long before I heard a knock at the door. It was soft and I probably would not have heard it had I not been sitting against the door. I really had no idea who it was; Yaten, Taiki, and Kakyuu would have walked right on in. It was probably the maid. I felt like giving her the day off since I had no intention of opening the door and dealing with people. I didn't feel like being social, I didn't feel like facing anyone right now._

_But the knocks kept persisting; getting louder each time I ignored them. Obviously, they weren't going away without a fight. I quickly dried my tears and composed myself before standing up to open the door. I was ready to chew them out and take my rage out on them. I was ready to chide whoever it was for being so bothersome. I was ready to-…_

_And there she stood: cold, wet, pale, and just as beautiful as she was the last time I saw her. My Odango… you have come._

_She was breathing hard, a sign that she had been running. Her red and swollen eyes pierced through my soul as they always have. They had that same desperate look but I couldn't help but notice something else… a lustful desire, perhaps. Her pale skin glistened in the artificial light of the hallway and her wet white blouse clung to her skin to show me every curve of her perfect body. It was a tantalizing sight for me. I felt excited and scared at the same time. _

_I didn't really ask her questions… she didn't give me any time to do so. In one movement, she jumped onto me and kissed me. Well, it wasn't really a kiss, but more of a takeover of my mouth. She was fervent and rough as she bit and sucked at my lips and tongue hungrily. It hurt so good… Oh God, was this really happening? I tried desperately to keep up with her vehemence and passion. I didn't want her to be disappointed in me and leave. I wanted her to stay forever, in my arms… in my life._

_She tasted light and heavy at the same time; like honey and wine. A little lamb to public eye but turned a tiger in the bed. She moaned softly as her hands lost themselves in my hair and I almost lost it at the sound of her voice. My hands found their way under her shirt as they caressed her cold, moist back. My thumbs played with the waist trim of her skirt. As I did so, she pushed into my body as if I were to disappear had she been further away by only an inch. Her hips grinded almost painfully into mine and her knees wove themselves between my legs and I loved every second of it. I was confused and elated at the moment and I wondered to myself over and over if this was all a dream._

_After another few minutes of this rough foreplay, she broke the kiss and stepped back from me, but not too far away. Was this it? Was this the end? Had she only come here to tease me with such passion only to leave me hanging? I just stared confusingly into her beautiful blue eyes._

_She was still breathing heavily and rested her forehead against mine and said: "You are good enough…"_

_It was my turn to conquer her lips. That was all I needed to hear and it was wholesome bliss. My hands grabbed at the bottom of her blouse and she raised her arms without hesitation. The shirt was immediately discarded across my living room as we resumed to our passionate make-out. Her skin was as soft as I had dreamed and I could not wait to touch and kiss every inch of it._

_After another few minutes, we were both naked and Odango had laid me down on the couch. And then it hit me that I was legitimately scared. Never had I experienced such arousal in a man's body. I didn't know what was happening or how to handle myself. But I certainly didn't want any of this to stop on account of me being weary about my body. Things had slowed down momentarily as Odango straddled my hips. She took some time to look into my eyes before giving me a soft kiss on my lips. I could tell that she knew I was scared… so she gave me reassurance. She lifted herself only to then lower onto me and… oh God!_

_**Did I choose the right way?  
But I keenly understand there is no answer  
Whomever I may ask it to**_

As I relay that wonderful event in my head, my feet took me to a park. It was the same park that Odango and I visited on a little day date one time. Ah, the memories… so bitter yet so sweet. On this day, though, crowds of people littered the park's lawn and picnic benches. It was summer: a season of fireworks, festivals and celebration. I had enjoyed this element of Japan during my last visit as well. The fireworks looked like flowers of fire in the sky. They blew up so brightly only to disappear instantly after which only dark clouds of smoke remained as the remnants of such dazzling phenomena. It was a magical sight yet it was sad that fireworks faded out so fast. I had fortunately shared the viewing of these quick wonderments with Odango six years ago. Her excitement was the cutest thing and my heart told me this was where she would be.

I slowly made my way around the park as I tried to pick out those famous buns that topped her head. That was one good thing about them: you could pick her out a mile away with those things. She couldn't hide from anyone if she tried.

In the midst of my sauntering, I spotted her.

She was there with him—Mamo-Chan—and the rest of the inner planetary soldiers. They had laid out a huge blue blanket in a soft grassy patch and were in the process of taking food out of a basket to ready for a delicious picnic dinner. She looked so happy; her smile reached from ear-to-ear, her laughter echoed throughout the hearts of those around her. She still had her hair up in those buns but she did have an air of maturity since I last saw her. Sure she was giggly and happy, but she seemed elegant in all she did… even if all I saw was her taking a pie out of the basket. I smiled to myself. I hadn't done so in a while.

But still, why was I here? Yes we made love on that day only for things to have to go back to normal by my departure and her returning to her silent, destined lover. I should be happy that I got something out of my unrequited love. She did me a favor; she let me experience what it was like to love her. For me to come back was to be obsessed and pathetic. But even though all that was true, I never got to do one thing that I truthfully wanted to do.

I never told her that I loved her.

It didn't take as long as a thought for her to notice my presence.

_**Please tell me some day that you are happy  
And smile**_

"Oh my God, Seiya, what are you doing here?!!" she squealed as she bounded up to me and nearly tackled me in a hug. I'm not going to lie: it felt good inside to see her excited to see me.

I returned the embrace. "Oi Odango, it's been a long time…" I whispered.

She backed away slightly to give me a gorgeous view of her beaming face. "This is so exciting! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

I shrugged. "I thought I would get a better reaction if I just surprised you."

Odango giggled. "Well come over and join us. The fireworks are about to start. Everyone will be so happy to see you!" She grabbed at my hand and proceeded to drag me over to her picnic of happiness and perfection. But I stood my ground and pulled her back toward me.

"Uh, no that's okay…" I muttered, "I really… just came here to see you… Odango."

She cocked her head. "But I'm sure everyone would want to see you…"

I sighed and looked at her in the best way I could that told her I didn't necessarily want to see them without saying a word.

She nodded in understanding and bewilderment. "Okay then, why don't we go someplace more private?" Still holding my hand, she began to lead me in a direction to one of the few secluded areas in the park. I consented and followed her happily like a puppy. The simplest touch from her made my heart go wild. I almost felt like I was alive…

"So, how have you been, Seiya? I haven't heard from you ever since you left," she started as she had found a place suitable for our privacy.

"I've been better… not going to lie," I nervously chuckled.

Her big cerulean eyes blinked in concern. "Is everything okay on Kinmokusei?"

"Oh Kinmokusei's fine."

She nodded and blinked her gaze away from mine. Without saying a word, I could tell she had an inkling of why I was here.

"How are you, Odango? What's happened since I left?" I didn't really want to jump right into business. And besides, I was sincerely curious.

She smiled and shrugged. "Not a whole lot. Mamo-Chan and I got married a couple of years ago. Which you missed! We sent you an invitation but I guess it's a long trip from Kinmokusei to come to a wedding." She giggled… nervously, I might add, "I thought you had forgotten about me."

"I could never forget you." I stared into her eyes as if I was reaching into the depths of her heart. I was in a moment I wanted to seize.

"So… Why exactly have you come back?" she didn't sound so concerned anymore… her tone now seemed apprehensive. I now wasn't so much of a sweet surprise, but more of an interruption—or DISRUPTION—of her ongoing perfect life.

I sighed; one, two, three, here we go. "Do you remember that night?"

She was suddenly uncomfortable as she started nervously fidgeting with her necklace. I didn't need to go into greater detail about any specific night for her to know what I was talking about. "Well, yeah. What about it?"

"Why did you follow me?"

In the background, I could hear loud popping noises as the fireworks display began. Though, the noises didn't faze Odango in the slightest. My question had put her deep in thought.

"Why do you want to talk about this now? Can't we do this later? The fireworks are starting…"

"No. I have to talk about it now. I can't stop thinking about it. Even after six years, it's been plaguing me constantly. Please, Odango…"

"No, Seiya! I can't do this. We can't do this again. I've already moved on from it and you should too. I have a life that I have to live and you know that!"

"But I must. I have to…" I felt bad for getting her all worked up. But I had to do it.

"What do you want from me, Seiya? Do you want me to fuck you again?! Is that why you came back: for seconds?! What do you take me for?!" She was getting madder at each word she spoke to me. Yeah, I understood her anger. I come back and the second thing out of my mouth reminded her of something she didn't want to remember.

"Odango, please," I grabbed her arms to gently shake her out of her rage, "Please calm down, it's not about that. It was never about sex!"

Tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Then what do you want?! Why are you here? What else do you want from me?! You just think you can come here and expect me to-"

"I love you."

That calmed her down instantly. Her jaw dropped slightly as she stared at me through those glazed eyes. "What…?"

"I love you." I started caressing her cheek.

She shook her head in denial. "No, no you don't. You don't love me... you can't love me… we were just a couple of kids that were curious. That was it! Please don't love me."

It was then that I started the waterworks. "I've always loved you. I've never cared about anyone as much as I cared for you. I've never even knew how to love until I met you. But I know that when I'm with you or think about you, I feel like I could do anything. And that is the greatest thing I have ever felt. That night that we shared wasn't just about sex… it was so much more than that. I was so happy that you gave me the chance to love you as if you were mine. It was the best time of my life. And I wanted to come back to tell you that…"

Odango tried to contain her sobs. "So why did you keep it inside? Why did you only decide to tell me six years later after you leave never to be heard from again?"

"Would it have really mattered if I told you back then instead of now?"

"No…" she sighed and let out a sound that was something between a cry and a laugh. "Oh Seiya, why?" She covered her face to dry her cheeks of fallen tears. "Why are you able to still do this to me?"

I smiled and wiped away a fresh tear that was falling down her gorgeous face with my thumb.

She continued, "You are so special to me. I tried so hard to forget. I tried so hard to convince myself that we were being careless and that I could easily move on," Odango ever so gently touched my face, "but I couldn't. I could tell from that night that you were making love to me like a lover would. I had never felt so wonderful in my entire life. I didn't say anything because I knew that it couldn't be. We weren't meant to be. I just wanted to know what it felt like to be with you, what it felt like to be yours. And I prayed constantly for it to never end. I can't keep lying to myself or you anymore."

I nervously smiled as I felt a tingling throughout my body. It was happening… finally… and just in time for me to hear those beautiful words that I only thought would exist in my dreams.

"I love you too, Seiya."

I could still hear the popping of the fireworks still going as the sun disappeared under the city. I looked deeply into her eyes to see the reflection of bright reds, blues, and pinks of the fire flowers in the dark sky. My love, our time couldn't be but now my time is finally here. My heart has come to rest and I have found peace. I shall fade away into the brightness of these fireworks and let my love for you scatter brightly and brilliantly. I want to take something so painful and be able to show it beautifully for you.

"Odango… I'll always watch over you. I'll always be there for you. Please be happy, always… I love you," I whispered. I could feel my skin burning as I watched my whole body slowly disappear. Quickly, I took my Odango in an embrace to have as my last memory… ever.

_**I gently lock the memories away  
Leaving them to be beautiful**_

He held her ever so closely and Usagi melted into the embrace. Her arms wrapped tightly around him until he disappeared. At the sudden change, she opened her eyes to nothingness. He was just here… where did he go? How did he just disappear so suddenly? Frantically, the blonde beauty looked all around the park for him. Everyone was already sitting down and watching the fireworks display and Seiya was nowhere in sight. How could he have left so fast? This could not be… This could not be possible!

Tears streamed down her face as she started running all around the park to look for him. She looked for clues of his dark ponytail and dark wavy hair, but she was always mistaken. She called out his name numerous times as loud as she could while getting stares from bystanders. Her heart beat hard against her chest… he could not have gone away so quickly after they had confessed their love for each other. How could he?!

"Seiya! Seiya, where are you?! Seiya!"

She had neared the picnic where she made camp with her friends. On account that she had left it without telling anyone beforehand, all of her friends, including Mamoru, ran to her once she was in sight.

"Usagi, where have you been?" Rei demanded, being the first to approach the blonde.

"What happened? Why are you crying?" Minako added.

Usagi kept hyperventilating and wiped her cheeks of her fallen tears. "It's Seiya, he was just here. I just saw him. He was here and now he's gone! Have you seen him?"

All the girls stood there in wonderment and stared at their leader as if she claimed she saw a ghost.

"Seiya…? Who's Seiya?" Mamoru asked. He looked at the girls confusingly before Ami took the initiative to tell him to leave them to talk alone with her.

"Why are all of you staring at me like that?! Help me find Seiya. Did any of you guys see him walk by?" Usagi was slowly becoming angry that her friends were reacting the way they were.

The girls looked at each other and drew nearer to Usagi. Makoto sighed. "Usagi, there's something you need to know. Something we didn't tell you that we probably should have…"

The blonde odango-head was getting anxious and worried. "What? What is it…?"

"There's no way you could have seen Seiya," uttered Minako.

Usagi furrowed her brow and was tempted to smack her blonde friend for saying something so crazy. "What does that mean?!"

"He's dead, Usagi…" Minako finished.

She swore time had stopped and everything was suddenly in slow motion. She could not believe her ears. Was this some kind of sick joke? Usagi was getting a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and she felt as if she could vomit at any moment. Seiya is dead? How could this be? She just saw him, she just touched him… this could not be possible. HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLE?!

"No… he can't be. I just saw him… and I talked with him and we were hugging and then he was gone…"

"No Usagi, Minako's right. Seiya is dead. He died two years ago." Ami looked into Usagi's eyes with the most sympathetic and sincere gaze.

She put her cold hands up to her head to keep the whole world from spinning. Her eyes squinted shut so tightly. She started bawling uncontrollably and shook her head in denial. How was it so? She was trying to wrap her mind around the fact that her friends were telling her one thing when she just experienced another. The rest of the group swarmed around her and took the saddened blonde in their arms.

"Why didn't you guys tell me?" Usagi finally asked after burying her head into Rei's shoulder.

Rei gently pet Usagi's head. "Because we found out the same day you and Mamoru got married. We didn't want to ruin your wedding day."

Oh God, she could not hold it in any longer. She practically screamed in her best friends raven hair, she wanted to shred things apart. How could her friends have kept such a secret for so long? She cared about Seiya—when did she ever give anyone the impression that she did not? Her heart became encompassed in complete anguish.

"How? How did he die?"

"Broken heart… unfortunately, it was a long and miserable death," Minako stated.

"Kakyuu told us that according to Kinmokusein legend, a star thrives on love. If one doesn't find anyone to love them back, they die. They become shooting stars and fade away into oblivion prematurely. He was a star, Usagi, and it was his choice and time. He was destined for it." Makoto added.

"But I know what I saw. He came back! How do you explain him coming back? How do you explain me seeing him? I know what I saw, I know it was him!" Usagi was adamant in trying to get the girls to believe Seiya had visited her in the flesh.

"What happened? What did he say to you?" Ami asked, already in tears as well.

Usagi lifted her head from Rei's shoulder. "You guys remember a few years ago… when I told you about where I went after that day on the rooftop with Seiya?"

All the girls nodded. It was a piece of information which held a strong vow of secrecy that held them together.

"Well, he asked about that and told me how he felt about it. That it was the best night of his life and that… he had never loved anyone as much as he loved me… he told me he loved me and then he was gone!" Once again, Usagi lost her composure and submitted to crying uncontrollably once again.

Rei was brought to tears and sniffled. "Maybe he fell here to tell you how he feels so that he could finally rest peacefully."

_**This feeling, this feeling, go up into the sky  
And be dispersed beautifully like a firework**_

The fireworks display was nearing its finale. Usagi looked up in the middle of the circle to witness the vivid show of brightly-colored fire. She noticed how especially magnificent it was this year. Not only were the fireworks beautiful to look at, but they held a beautiful feeling for the blonde. Though her last meeting with Seiya would best be described as bittersweet, she could not help but smile. She never regretted that night they spent together and she would never take it back, even if it meant her life. Still, she tore herself apart for being so ignorant of his feelings. Staring at the fireworks, she smiled to herself as she felt familiar warmth encompass her body. She could still feel him… not his pain, not his sadness, but a warm love that he felt only for her. She was happy that Seiya would now be able to rest and not wander aimlessly anymore.

"_I love you, Seiya… thank you…"_

---

**End. **

****Song quoted is, **_HANABI ~episode II~_**, which is sung and written by Ayumi Hamasaki (I know I'm obsessed, hah!). Credits to masa and DivineAyu for providing the lyrics and translation.**


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